I have trouble letting my mask down.
Even in front of him.

Everywhere i go, I'd smile and laugh with people.
Entertaining them, even when i don't feel like entertaining.
Always trying to go along with the flow to make things easy for everybody.

I have good friends to pour my thoughts to.
I have him to pour my thoughts to.
But why my mask if still up?

There are things which I don't know what to say and how to say. All in all, I just don't want to say anything.

It had gotten to a point where Sis commented I'm getting so pro at slotting emotions people want to see in front of my mask that it seemed so natural and effortless.

I'm such a fake person.

I'm really grateful when a really good friend of mine told me "You say things you don't mean. I've known you for so long. You're not like that." At least someone on earth knows ME.

Zzz.

*****

Went The Line @ Shangri-La for dinner with dar. All thanks to dad and the generosity of Sis. Food's good as usual but this time round we got to enjoy free-flow house wine and juices. =D It was on this trip that i realized the value of our dinner: Adult $88+++ per pax and Child $44+++ per pax. I was like O.O!

Sat for QET (Qualifying English Test) @ NUS yesterday morning. The first 2 sections, testing the grammar and understanding abilities, of the paper were alright. But the argumentative essay writing (section C) was very challenging. >.< I think i've screwed it up somehow. My points were messy and unorganized and i can barely remember how to write an argumentative. -.-" I'm really getting rusty at essays. =( Many foreign students went for the test too. I hope i stand a good chance to get a good grade. =X

Maths Proficiency Test coming on Monday. That'll be the death of me, i guess. >.<

The recent trips to NUS allowed me to familiarize with the places in the campus and means of getting to each location. That's good! At least i won't be lost easily. =X Also, getting from Sembawang to NUS is bearable so please ignore my previous grumbles about the distance.

Dropping by Sembawang Sec for the fund raising event by the invitation from Shermaine. ^^ It'll be a mini chit-chat session for us. =X

Dinner at Mandarine Oriental for dinner later this evening with Nana, Jessie and Wai Leng. Naughty Liling CMI. Must compensate us for your absence ok!

Found the following in an email LiLing sent me. I'm gonna analyse it line by line to get my mind off some stuff. Words in BLUE will be my comments.

TAURUS - The Enduring One

Charming but aggressive.
- Charming? Maybe not. But aggressive, yes?

Can come off as boring, but they are not.
- Of course I'm not a bore! >.<

Hard workers.
- It depends? I'm a lazy workaholic!

Warm-hearted.
- Sadly yes but depends.

Strong, has endurance.
- Towards work/study, yes but dieting/slimming, no. =X

Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways.
- I guess so. Can't blame me for being defensive to keep myself secure.

Not looking for shortcuts.
- Short cuts doesn't kill anyone, so why not? But I'll stick with the old, slow and steady way if that is what needs to be done.

Take pride in their beauty.
- I'm about as beautiful as a hyena? -.-"

Patient and reliable.
- Definitely not patient but I can be very reliable. Well, if I like you and there is a reason for me to be reliable, of course.

Make great friends and give good advice.
- Great friends only if you have a place in my heart. I can give pretty good advices if I think before i speak. ^^

Loving and kind.
- I'm definitely not kind. I don't see why should I be kind to people if they aren't kind to me. But that doesn't mean I'll be nasty, maybe just neutral.

Loves hard - passionate.
- I'll treat you very nicely if I love you.

Express themselves emotionally.
- Emotional. I make decisions based on my emotions most of the time.

Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums.
- Many can proof this.

Determined.
- In some areas only. Dieting/slimming is so not for me. Maybe liposuction is? =X

Indulge themselves often.
- Hehe! Shhh..

Very generous.
- Sometimes, when i can afford it.

Ming Rong is tempting me to move into the forest, behind her house, with a tree-house specially built for me. But, I don't want!! *Whines* I don't like bugs! Forest definitely contains BUGS! Ahhhhh!

*******************************

“家” 的定义是什么？
“家” 在我的生命里根本不存在
每次说是“回家”倒不如说是“回酒店”更加贴切
一个被人误导，另一个且再说误导人的话
如果我有的是钱，我根本不需要理会你们

这算什么？
我根本就不应该存在，我的存在是多余的

每一样东西都应该有价钱标签
那些标不上价钱的东西， 就一文不值吧？
我很不想把什么东西都建立在金钱上
但如果我不这么做，你要我拿什么来顶替失去的爱呢？

It's been so long since I've last updated.

I've been busy with...
Incoming shipments
Closing Sprees
Putting up new sprees
Processing private sprees
Moving Beau-Vous contents to the new template
Working as a Temp Receptionist (for the past week)
Settling NUS registration stuff (Damn complicated and confusing)

The past week was very hectic. I had to juggle work and blog stuff and it wasn't easy at all. There was a major lack of sleep and I couldn't complete what i set out to do for Beau-Vous every night. So the routine for each day would be to:
Wake at 7am
Go to work till 6pm
Walk over to Mama's office and drive home
Hastily settle dinner and shower
Start with blogshop stuff
Drive to pick Mama up shen she feels like coming home
Continue with blogshop stuff
Sleep at 1am
And the cycle continues...

I'm quite relived to have lived through the entire week. But it makes me wonder if I'm capable enough to juggle school and blogshop. I've promised myself to keep Beau-Vous alive until I really cannot keep up with it anymore. Seriously, if possible, i still want it to be around when i graduate in about 3.5 years time.

I got Ming Rong to do me a blogskin template for this blog too! Hope she'll be free to get it done as she's got quite a few orders for blogskins and school is also starting for her. I love my new Beau-Vous blogskin! It was done by her anyway.

She's a very cute and naughty girl who has been pestering me to move into the forest behind her house. =X Little Miss Naughty Girl!

Well that's random, but nevermind!
I'm somewhat happy at the moment~ =D